heart life

you’ll remember

Tanae' A. — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 13:40:59 +0000

laying beside you

thoughts of her

holding you hostage

your face glows

but your eyes look lost

cause you want to be

back to the place

you spent your last night

skin tingles

the after effect of pure bliss

heart rate still at an all time high

legs still quiver and shake

at the mere thought

of heaven on earth

you look at me

“can we go back to that place??”

“travel back in time”

no, my dear

the memories will last a lifetime

every time you look at my lips

you are reminded of how well

they capture pleasure at its peak

and toss you over into bliss

every time you look at my legs

youll think about

how they locked around you

leaving you trapped

in euphoric exstacy

every time you look at my smile

youll remember that

you placed it perfectly on my face

and every time you see her

youll remember that she wasn’t there

last night

Tanae' A. — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 20:06:26 +0000

jumping over hurdles

like im playing double dutch

got muh top chix behind me

so ii dont ask for much

the only time ii close my eyes

is to sleep and to pray

so my eyes wide open

looking for a better day

staring at the reflective glass

and ii like what ii see

my future outshines my present

but theres still more than one me

ii got two eyes

to get a better view

but im writing two ii’s

just for you

and ii know right now

it sounds quite ubsurd

but in ten minutes

ask ya ears what they heard

ii said im writing two ii’s

especially for you

cause theres the ‘I’ that im gonna be

and the ‘I’ that made it thru

and if u looking thru ya eyes

you aint got a clear view

and im pretty sure you wanna see distinctively

whatever path you chose

you looking at my shoes

but yet ya own strings are untied

and if you looking to me so hard

ii must be your guide

so watch me carefully

im jumping over all this shit

and if you in my backdrop

ii suggest you move quick

right now im loving weezy

and the words that he spit

so two words you never hear from me

TAE QUIT!!

among the few

Tanae' A. — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 19:37:05 +0000

even in a crowded area

your presence speaks silent demands

your confidence is felt

and there’s integrity in the way you stand

your hands gently behind your back

feet shoulder width apart

your eyes full of desire command attention

before the conversation even starts

when dressed in the ensemble

your entire demeanor is changed

as if each layer of clothing

wont allow you to stay the same

and unlike most who wear the badge

you never lose your self

the same man, the same demand

even when theres no attire left

its in the way you interact

and the authority that you possess

but also the way that you remain humble

even tho you are the best

fathers everywhere

want there sons to be like you

and want their daughters to wed you

because you, my dear

are one among the few

deception

Tanae' A. — Sun, 18 May 2008 01:03:01 +0000

capable of deception

of the very worst kind

too much of a coward

to stab me in the front

so life takes me from behind

and like a virgin i bleed

but my soul has been scared

walking on uneven streets

faith wont take me very far

a pool of pain

growing within

and i drown in that sea

turned on by my only friend

yes, i have the power to decieve me

hurt has me addicted

for what are days without pain

and unless we go thru losing

in the end we never gain

deception of the worst kind

comes thru like gusts of wind

you can never see it

but it tears at precious skin

i smile in the face of adversity

and turn my back to things worth while

yet i still hold onto the lies of life

i am the truth’s unwanted child

wrapped up in a system

not busy enough to care

taking what i can get from others

like a single mother on welfare

and these cries are what i birth

and what i carry in my womb

these same cries that die

when i begin to push too soon

deception is no coward

it battles with force and might

but until the very death of me

im gonna stand my ground and fight

i heard you got a dime

Tanae' A. — Sun, 18 May 2008 01:00:36 +0000

ii hear you got a dime

yup thats me

but you’re friends

with the main supplier

so you got me for free

pen hits paper

yup we burning trees

this shit right here

got me on a lyrical high

eyes blood shot

from looking love in the eye

you could say im addicted

cause without you i die

but if you take me

and those same trees

roll us together

so love~ly

inhale the drug

thats leading you blindly

but hold it in as long as possible

for without me you dont breathe

not quite the same

as waiting to exhale

these feigns so caught up in the wrapper

that they L’s turn stale

dont confuse wrapper with rapture

cause the rapture is love

and the main supplier

is the Man up above

and He dont mind

if we get accustomed to this drug

He wrote the lyrics down

before there was an us

ii heard you got a dime

yup thats me…

but ii been paid for already

so you can smoke me for free

untitled

Tanae' A. — Sun, 18 May 2008 00:50:32 +0000

with the tears that ii shed
with the blood that ii poured
it seeps thru the cracks
my love has been tainted
corrupted
and left in disarray
how dare ii care
after you lay upon me your griefs
night after night
my heart is no longer open
your name erased
no more tears on my face
only corrupted wishes
tainted thoughts
stolen hearts
the tight grip
that i once possesed
has been loosened
you are free
to go on into ur world
of deception and lies
i pray you meet your demise
and nothing in my heart grieves
no hurt can i feel
only heightened agression
in the pit of my heart
and i hate it
i hate you.
for the damage that you caused
for the tears that u cried
for cursing me when i questioned it
aint shit real in ur world
not even the air that you breathe
so in the end
the illusion is me
a wounded heart
thats what i offer you
take its remains
cause i no longer want
somethin so tainted
your handprints have left filth
that i wouldnt even dare sit
before the face of God
here are my tears
and in each stream
is the love i once had
a love never shared
and left, is a heartless bitch
full of hate….oh look
we’re finally the same…

bedtime story

Tanae' A. — Sun, 18 May 2008 00:44:10 +0000

read me a bedtime story
and rock my soul to rest
slumber is needed
my heart needs dreaming
so read me one of your best
the story of how You created me
in the exact likeness of You
or maybe the one
about how you sent your Son
to cleanse me of what i been thru
look thru Your book shelf of heaven
dust off those fairytales
cause chapter by chapter
happily ever after
is what i need rite now
so tuck me under your blessings
and give me pil-loves
for my head to rest
read me ur Word
it needs to be heard
cause your story is the best
so Daddy, read me a bedtime story
one to put my soul at ease
and after ive slumbered
and slept in Your comfort
wake me again
and YOU TAKE THE LEAD

foreign language

Tanae' A. — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 19:40:25 +0000

you look into my eyes

from across the room

and the corners of your mouth

reach toward heaven

as if to thank God personally

for sending me to you

your hands linger

in the small of back

when we embrace

and your heart beat tells me

thats where you want me to stay

and with those same hands

you grip her hips

as if lifting her out of your path

but your body language

she doesn’t understand

you stare at her feet

as if hoping that she would walkaway

you whisper into her ear

hoping that she might hear

the faint goodbye

that lingers in between your “I love You’s”

and there I stand

across the room

reciting your room number

and counting down the seconds

until she walks out of our sacred space

you look at me from across the room

and the corners of your mouth reach up towards heaven

you kiss her lips

as if to say

“I’ll never leave”

and I still cant see

that your body language is only foreign to me

thirty two

Tanae' A. — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 15:50:35 +0000

a year ago today

thirty two were slain

thirty two families

grieving and hurt

thirty two students

buried beneath the dirt

thirty two friends

leaving loved ones hurt

and one man behind it all

some have forgotten

too many have moved on

but thirty two parents

are still remembering

thirty two teachers are still empty

thirty two smiles are missing

and one man behind it all

so one year later

lets take thirty two seconds

one for each victim

thirty two seconds

to remember the many

thirty two seconds to acknowledge

the ones that remain

lets take thirty two seconds

to remember V. Tech

a blank page

Tanae' A. — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 01:37:48 +0000

ii walk past mirrors

as if my reflection doesnt exist

and for some reason

i hang my head in shame

but why??

someone tell me who ii am right now

because all there is to me

is a simple blank page

and every single day

they scribble on my soul

like little kids at play

but Someone erases the markings

before they can be seen

and piece by piece

they erase pieces of me

you see, it wasnt the scribbling

on my soul

that made me any less whole

but it was the erasing that left me

at an ultimate low

erased

are the portraits

of daddy’s little girl

erased

is the mother

that at some point meant the world

erased

is the fetus that said goodbye

before its life ever begun

he must’ve known

that he didn’t want to grow

being this abandoned daughter’s

only son

erased

are the dreams that lie on my pillow top

after unpeaceful nights of rest

erased

are the screams

that have scarred my tonsils

and seperated me from the rest

erased

are the promises of God

that said your latter will be greater

because from my point of view

there aint too much hope in “ten-years-later”

erased

are the smiles

that they drew

across the part of my heart that was plain

no more are the finger prints and smudges

that gave me a story to tell

and so ii turn my face

when walking past

that refective glass

for ii know that

all thats left of me

is the sour after the sweet

because what they drew on my spirit

bringing color to my world

is the only thing that gave me

the innocence possesed by little gurls

and ii wish to be that way again

but here ii am

full of rage and hate

and the only One ii despise

is the One who took all the markings away

for now ii am nothing

but a blank page